Men’s Mental Health Signs May Be Different Than What You Think

Understanding Men’s Psychological Well-Being

Jeff’s wife was upset with him, she wanted him to be there, to be a family, to help with the kids. Although his job required him to be away, it gave Jeff the opportunity to take good financial care of his family, and he enjoyed the work. Even though it met some important needs, it also created some problems. His relationship with his wife was deteriorating, and he felt increasingly distant from his kids. While his job made it possible for them to play hockey and soccer, he wasn’t there in time to coach them. Other relationships were beginning to breakdown including an argument with his boss. The compounded pressure was too much, and Jeff relapsed. Fortunately, Jeff recognized that in order to keep himself on track he needed to go to therapy.

“Men feel stresses and pressures as women do, but they express them differently,” says Amber Jerome, Registered Clinical Councilor at As You Are Therapy & Consulting. “Anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorders commonly affect both men and women, but men have higher rates of addictions and suicide. Recognizing the signs of mental health distress are key to getting men the support they need.”

Although, according to the Public Health Agency of Canada, men are 14% less likely to seek mental health supports than women. There are a number of factors that contribute to this disparity for men, such as upholding the traditional norms of strength, toughness, and self-reliance, as well as lack of self-awareness, reluctance to discuss problems, embarrassment, and shame. Destigmatizing and normalizing seeking help would go a long way to helping men.

Furthermore, there is a history of overlooking men’s mental well-being in the health profession. For years the mental health focus has been on women, and only in recent decades have men’s unique challenges been recognized.

“The signs for men are often externalizing behaviours, while women internalize it,” Amber says. “For example, men may be more irritable, aggressive or angry, or on the other hand they could become excessively busy with work or activities as an avoidance strategy. Often though, men are more likely to first seek help for the physical signs of distress such as headaches, sleep problems, and digestive issues.”

Though these signs are typical of men, other symptoms can still occur, but are less common, such as less energy, sleeping more, and changes in appetite. Moreover, some men are good at hiding their distress and power through, making sure that nothing in their life appears to change but at their own cost.

Men Specific Approach

While in therapy, men also communicate differently, so it is important to get a therapist that knows how to work with a process that is specific to men.

“Men are less likely to verbalize it in the ways that women do,” Amber remarks. “They don't necessarily talk about how they felt or how this awful thing affected their life, or how this big traumatic event was just debilitating and horrific and scary. Men talk about things as a timeline of events instead of directly saying how it affected them. An experienced therapist will know how to uncover and unravel the issues behind the story.”

Men are also unlikely to make the connections between health, mental health effects, and their body. Therapy can help improve this self-awareness so that thoughts, emotions, and behaviours can be better understood, which is an essential step towards psychological well-being.

“Therapy offers a uniquely confidential space that you don't find in the rest of the world,” says Amber. “It is a place where we don't have to worry about judgment or labeling or any social consequences from friends or family. Having the space to be able to have a healing connection with another person also reduces the isolation that is often created by and exacerbates mental health conditions.”

By normalizing seeking help we can break the culture of silence for men and provide the tools for communication.

“I think we all need to feel like we have a space to feel seen and be heard, even if we don't take advantage of it. Just knowing it's there can make a huge difference.”

Signs of Distress

If you have these symptoms, or know someone who does, please reach out to an experienced therapist:

·       Escapism and addictions

·       Externalizing behaviours such as aggression, defiance, vandalism, and theft

·       Not sleeping

·       Losing interest in favourite activities

·       Eating less or more than usual

·       Noticeable weight change, up or down

·       Frequent physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach problems

·       Forgetting grooming (no clean clothes, not showering or brushing teeth)

·       Avoiding social situations

·       Significant change in their work

·       Going quiet on social media or messaging apps

·       Being more irritable than usual

·       Talking of death and dying or increased hopelessness

Resources for men’s mental health can be found at Heads Up Guys

Common Stressors for Men

The most common stressors for men are:

·       Lack of purpose or meaning in life

·       Loneliness

·       Relationship problems with spouse/romantic partner

·       Difficulties at work

·       Finance Strain

Other important stressors for men include:

·       Fatherhood and Parental Pressure:

·       Sexual Health and Dysfunction:

·       Bullying (in the workplace or school)

·       LGBTQ2S+ Specific Mental Health Concerns

·       Retirement

·       Other Health Issues (cardiovascular diseases, prostate and testicular cancers, and diabetes)

We offer a complimentary consultation to determine if As You Are Therapy is the right choice for you. We invite you to book an appointment or connect with us for more information.